Trying To Conceive So Far and 2015…

It’s been a year or so since I last wrote about trying to conceive a baby and since then A LOT has happened in the process. I have had one normal D&C’s (Dilation and curettage is a procedure to remove tissue from the uterus. Mine was for my thick lining. This procedure requires general anesthesia.), two hysteroscopy/d&c’s (where they take a camera in there and see what’s going on ALONG with the surgery. Using anesthesia for both procedures as well.) an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram is a procedure where they shoot dye into your tubes to see if they are blocked.), a cancelled IUI (Intrauterine insemination formerly known as artificial insemination) with 4 1/2 weeks of FSH (follicle-stimulating hormones) drugs that you have to inject in your body, 4 rounds of provera ((medroxyprogesterone) and one kind of successful but not so successful round of IVF (in vitro fertilization).

Well with IVF, we implanted two beautiful little blastocysts but only one took, and it happened to be a blighted ovum. We found out the baby had no heartbeat the same day I found out my grandmother had passed away. It was a double blow for sure and it was probably the hardest time of my life…until about two weeks after coming home from my grandmother’s funeral and only week after starting to pass the baby that we got the call that my husband’s granny had passed as well. It hasn’t been a spectacular year for us this year and it’s only the END of February. I’m still passing the baby. In fact, I had to take cytotec to get some contractions going so I could pass this baby bear. It’s been tough to hope for the passing just so that my body can feel normal again.

I’m praying that it only goes up for us from here. I know that God has His perfect timing so I’m going to take these last few months in stride and try to remember that everything is part of His perfect plan. BOY is that hard but I’m trying. I also pray for peace and comfort. Losing two babies (knowing one STUCK and one could have STUCK), two grandmothers and going through all this is HARD. I read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 9 (“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”) just to get through the day sometimes but I keep going. I know He holds me up and I keep going. I fall down A LOT. I’ve cried until I couldn’t even see anymore because my eyes are swollen shut but I wake up every day. I know I’m blessed. I’m grateful for everything that has been given to me or that I’ve worked for, but I also know that my strength is not my own. 

Identity Crisis…

I’m having a blog identity crisis here. What is this blog exactly? What am I trying to say to the world? Who am I trying to connect to, if anyone and why am I writing this?

What is this blog exactly about?

I started this blog to be perfectly honest because I met Mickey Coutts from The Helicopter Mom at Walmart and she told me about the world of blogging, reviewing and how to make money. I thought AWESOME!! I could do this from home and it is going to be great! I think this works for people who review a lot, who use social media and who honestly hustle. I am a person that hustles but this was not meant for me. I do review some things for BzzAgent. I don’t get any money for those things but I do get stuff so that really helps but I realized it isn’t about the money. It’s about what I wanted to say. My honest opinion but was THIS the right forum for it? I don’t think so. I believe that this page should be my personal thoughts, who I really am and what I am REALLY going through because at the END OF THE DAY…that’s what I wanted to show you to begin with. So I post, once a week, once a month or once a year but as it comes…not everything in my life is interesting.

What am I trying to say to the world and who am I trying to connect to, if anyone AND why am I writing this?

Whew! That was a long title right? Well, I am not trying to say ANYTHING to the world really. I think I am just thinking out loud and if you like it…and are like minded than great. If you hate it and leave hate, than that’s your prerogative. I’m not here to judge you as it is your opinion but I can also choose to use the hate for something more lovely or ignore it all together. But just so you know, sometimes I AM those negative things you might think about me but I’m human. I make mistakes, I learn and grow every day. I am NOT perfect. I don’t claim to be perfect either. I realize I write to say what I have to say and get it off my chest and it isn’t TO anyone in particular. Sometimes I just need to vent…sometimes I need to clear my conscience or my heart.

So this is me. You might get some RANDOM reviews every once in a while and some posts about life but I guess that is just a little bit of me right?

Review of the day! :) Secret Outlast

I am currently in a campaign for BzzAgent where I get free products and I get to try them out and review them. Awesomely enough, I do that on my blog too so I get to share with you the awesomeness of this product that I got for free to try. I am allowed to be honest with all my reviews so this is really me. No one is paying me to do any of this but I did get the product for free. That is just a disclaimer for you all.

I LOVE IT! It really does last 48 hours and it really does have AMAZING coverage. It doesn’t leave a chalky mess on your shirts and to be honest, I have tried Secret’s other gel formulas and HATED them but I really do LOVE this deodorant!! 🙂 And on Amazon its like two buck with the coupon right now!!! 🙂

Hope you pick some up!!

Tone Body Wash

This body wash is actually very excellent and pretty affordable. Loving the smell and how it makes my skin feels.

Savory Saturday – Kalbi (Korean Short Ribs) Recipe (My Way!)

Savory Saturday is just basically a recipe day that just highlights one meal a week that I made that was a hit with my picky husband! Since I am newly married, I thought it would be cool to talk about my experiences with our growing pains with making meals. Although I’ve lived with my husband before we got married and made food every day, I think it’s different now that we are married since know I have to care. hahahaha!!! (I know, CRAZY?!) The good, the bad and everything in between. I warn you know, a lot of these recipes are going to come from allrecipes.com or epicurious.com or even youtube.com, but it is all about how I make it. These are also going to be recipes that my husband’s mom and grandmother taught me and some from my mother so…it’s all here! 🙂 I’m that person that reads like 10 pages of reviews (that’s over 100 reviews) and takes the best of those reviews to make a recipe. (I know, I’m a freak!!) This will also be reviews of new food products I tried that are supposed to be healthy.

Whew, now that the intro is done…my first review/recipe is Korean BBQ spare ribs. This is MY recipe that I made from my sister’s, my mom’s and allrecipes.com’s recipes. I took the best of all my worlds…so here it is! Tweak it the way you like it but my husband loves this, my way! I’ve done this with large parties and just us for dinner for a few nights. This freezes well and make delicious left overs for lunches. It seems like a lot of ingredients and a lot of work but it’s really not, and it’s SO much cheaper than buying it in the store.

 

• 1 cup Brown Sugar
• 1 cup 7-Up
• 1 cup Soy Sauce (NOT Low Sodium)
• ¼ cup (4 Tablespoons) of Sesame Oil
• ½ bulb of Garlic (about 2-4 heaping Tablespoons of grated garlic)
• 1 grated large peeled Asian Pear or 1 1/2 small  peeled Asian Pears (with juices)
• 1 grated peeled Kiwi (with juices)
• 2 small or 1 large Sliced Onions
• 4 stalks of Chopped Green Onions
• ¼ cup (4 Tablespoons) of Black Pepper
• ¼ cup of Red Pepper Flakes
• ¼ teaspoon of Salt
• 2 Tablespoons of Honey
• 5 lbs of  Center Cut of Flanken Short Ribs* (cut at ½ inch) or 10-15 portabella mushrooms
• Toasted Sesame Seeds (Optional)

 

Flanken Short Ribs Directions

1. Wash meat well with cold water and dry with paper towel.
2. Pound the meat on the ribs with a meat tenderizer or a mallet carefully so that it does not break through the meat, but enough to flatten the meat and tenderize.
3. Cut off any excess fat.  (Some fat is okay because it will flavor the meat.)
4. Combine brown sugar, 7-Up, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, Asian pear, kiwi, black pepper, red pepper flakes, salt, and honey in a blender and blend until smooth.
5. In a large bowl, add sliced onions and chopped green onions to the blended liquid and mix with a spoon.
6. In a glass dish or a large Tupperware container, layer a single layer of flanken short ribs, and pour a small amount of the mixed marinade.  Make sure you spread some onions and green onions.
7. On top of the single layer of short ribs and onions add another layer of short ribs and marinade with the onions and green onion.  You are going to continue to do this until you run out of short ribs.  (You should have plenty of liquid left over to reserve.)
8. Marinate as long as you can in the refrigerator. (This recipe will still work if you marinate this for about 15 minutes but the meat takes on a better flavor and consistency when marinated for a longer period.  (Preferably Overnight, but no more than 36 hours.)
9. You can cook this in a frying pan or on the grill. Cook until well done.
10. (Optional Step) You can cook the remaining liquid in a pot and continue to cook until the onions are completely soft, and pour over the meat.  (Remember that there was raw meat in this marinade so boil for at least 5-10 minutes.  Otherwise, discard the liquid.)
11. (Optional Step) Sprinkle some sesame seeds on top.

*Make sure you ask your butcher for the center cut of this meat. The small ends take a lot of work to do anything.

Kroger Skillet Meals

Honestly I am really surprised about these meals. I am familiar with skillet meals of other brands, but I never even thought to try the store brand. I was skeptical because normally these things don’t give you a lot of food, but as I got a salad kit and a garlic bread with it…I can DEFINITELY see the draw of this. How easy! My dear husband can even do this without direction from me! Definitely a winner in my book.

Disclaimer: I got this skillet meal deal for free as I am a BzzAgent. The reviews I make are all my own.

TTC Journey so far…

I am in the fourth cycle of trying to conceive and it has definitely opened my eyes to how beautiful creating a life is, and how incredibly difficult of a journey it is for everyone involved. WIth all the positive tests around me from other people, the details of trying and being frustrated is all noise when you get your first positive test. Although I have not experienced it in my lifetime yet, I know my life is in the hands of the Creator of the Earth. Up until this point, God has never failed me even when I deserved to be abandoned. Why wouldn’t I put my trust in Him with the MOST important thing in my life other than my husband? You know I sometimes feel so depressed when I get a negative because I feel like I failed as a woman somehow. I would compare my circumstances to other people and judge other women on how “prepared” of a parent they were, but who am I to judge them? Parenthood is more than what you can buy a child, it is so much more than that. God gives you these gifts of life, because it is all part of His plan. Before, I would think of children as some sort of reward, of being a good person or something. Children are strictly a gift from the Lord above. They are the beautiful part of life. When you look in a child’s eyes and see the innocence you know that life is right. If you are lucky enough to have a child love you unconditionally, and watch them grow in life then you are truly blessed. 

I am not pregnant this cycle, and I might not be pregnant for a long time. My husband and I will keep trying until it happens for us. I am not going to questioning it anymore, because what does that change? Who does that hurt other than myself? Let go, and let God. There are plenty of things that have happened in my life where I didn’t understand where he was going, but it was all worth it in the end. Patience is a virtue I don’t really have most of the time, and maybe this is my true test. God knows my heart’s desire, so I am going to put my trust in Him to know what is best for me. I will fall backwards…I know I will, but He is going to pick me back up and help me move forward. 

Sorry this blog post sounds a little sad. It is quite the contrary. It is hopeful for me. A breakthrough I thought I had last month when I wasn’t pregnant that I am REALLY having now. 

This is me. The REAL me, and you are getting a lot more than just a little bit. I promise to write a little more than I have been lately. I think it is really good to get it out and share my story with other people.

See you guys in my next post, 

Susan

Blog Post: Baby Making

I have been so slack with this blog because…well…I don’t really have a reason…I just have. 

To give you some background after a long while, my husband and I have been married for almost 9 months now, and are actively trying to have a baby. I don’t know why I always thought that it would be EXTREMELY easy to have babies but I did. I NEVER realized that people have to plan, strategize and organize. I always thought I would have that “I Love Lucy”-esk realization (Am I dating mysef?!) where I went to the doctor because I felt sick all the time. BOY WAS I WRONG!! Baby making is about ovulating and timing and it is HARD. It is about a little luck and A LOT of love and prayers. It is about feeling hopeless and hopeful at the same time, and it is MADDENING!! I guess this blog is going to be personal blogging, product reviews (because everyone knows where there is babies…there is STUFF), and things I’ve learned. (WHICH IS A LOT!) 

Hope you understand the sporadic writing, and I hope you can come with me on this journey. 

Tip Thursday – How To Get Out A Grease Stain

Hey everyone,

As you might not know, my husband is kind of stain prone. Is that a thing?! Well for my husband it is! Every time he eats something there is ALWAYS a stain. He doesn’t try to get a stain on it is…he just does. Fortunately, most of the stains come out in our Samsung washer we bought, but grease stains I am afraid do not come out so easily. I always catch them AFTER they have been washed and dried at the folding stage, but if my husband is folding chances are, he has a shirt or two hanging up in our closet that has a grease stain on it. When this happens, I use the following and do the following. It works…it really does and I don’t have to go to the dry cleaners and pay for them to get it out! 🙂

 

 

***WARNING – I have no idea if this works on silk, wool or cashmere or any delicates so don’t do it at all unless you are absolutely sure. I have done this on cotton, and poly blends with cotton and other durable non delicate fabrics. My suggestion is to do a test spot on somewhere that it will not be seen. ***

 

 

Ingredients

-Dish Soap (I like Dawn, but I’ve used even $1 dish soap and it work virtually the same, but you might have to do it more than once, so the Dawn saves time.)

-Salt (I use Kosher Salt, because I have it and it makes the paste better, but you can use regular)

-Lemon juice

 

 

1. Lay it on a flat service, isolate the stain and drench that baby in some dish soap. (Put some paper down or a towel just in case you don’t want to ruin your surface underneath.

 

2. Add the salt and lemon juice to make a dish soap, salt, lemon juice paste on the garment. Be generous, because it will take better and you won’t have to do it again.

 

3. Leave for at least 30-45 minutes but overnight has a MUCH better result.

 

4. Wash it out in the sink to get the soap and the paste off your garment.

 

5. Wash and dry it in the washer and dryer like normal.

 

6. Repeat if you have to. (I have only had to repeat this process when I haven’t let it sit long enough or I didn’t use enough soap, salt, lemon juice on it.)

 

There was a post a long time ago that had this but it had a couple of these elements and my best friend, Arun and I thought to add these elements together, because what could it hurt?! I’ve used this trio ever since. It is said that the dish soap and the lemon cuts through the grease and the salt absorbs the grease. Now, is that true…I have NO idea?! I just know it works! hahahah!!

 

Leave a comment below and let me know if this worked for you!!

 

Thanks for stopping by!! Share this with your friends! 🙂

 

~Susan

Tip Thursday: What To Do When You Don’t Have Nail Polish Remover?!

Hi-dee-ho, 

It’s Tip Thursday. Today, I am going to show you what to do when you don’t have nail polish!? It’s the holidays and sometimes I’m too busy to have to go to the nail shop and have my nails done. I’m also too overwhelmed at the grocery store (I LOVE THE GROCERY STORE!!) to remember to buy nail polish remover. In a pinch, this is what I do when I don’t want to go to the store just to get some nail polish remover.  I learned this method from my sister a long time ago and this always stuck with me because it was so easy and it doesn’t cost anything. It’s literally THREE EASY STEPS! 🙂 

1. Paint your nails, and do it as evenly as possible and as messy as you like it. As long as the surface of the nail is completely covered, don’t worry about how clean it looks around the skin. 

2. After your nails are COMPLETELY dry, either take a shower/bath (depends on when you paint your nails.) or dunk your hands in warm water for at least 5 minutes. 

3. Scrap around your nail where the skin is with a bottom of a skewer, a exfoliating pad, exfoliating cloth, anything with a solid end that will scrap gently, heck sometimes I do it with my thumb nail. (Be careful with the last thing, because you can chip your thumb nail polish. If you are going to do it with your thumb nail, do all your other nails first and do all the steps and then be EXTRA careful polishing your thumb nail.) 

That’s It! Easy, fast, cheap!! Let me know in the comments below if this worked for you! 🙂

~Susan

P.S. Honestly, I don’t know how many people read this, and it’s probably no one but it gives me purpose and although that sounds like a bleak existence…I don’t think so. It makes me feel like what I have to say matters. No matter what happens to this blog, at least all my knowledge (the little I have) is out there somewhere.